THE ROPE OF DOOM!
by LiRi
Summary: Inu-Yasha and Kagome have been selected to air on a show called the ROPE OF DOOM!, which means that they will have to be tied together for a whole week...will love prevail?coughyescough R&R!
1. Stuck on YOU?

WELCOME NONE AND WELCOME ALL!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Keh. Baka. That doesn't make sense.  
  
Kagome: Inu-Yasha! Be nice!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Feh  
  
LiRi: Yeah, Inu-Yoshi  
  
Inu-Yasha: Yasha  
  
LiRi: Whatever. *turns to audience* Now, ladies and gentlemen and in- betweens  
  
Kagome: *gasp*  
  
LiRi: You are gathered here, today, or tomorrow, or even yesterday fooooooooor......  
  
Audience: THE GREAT ROPE OF DOOOOOOOOOM!!! *applause and cheers*  
  
Inu-Yasha: Say what?  
  
Kagome: Huh......?  
  
Suddenly, out of thin air, pops......Miroku!!  
  
Ladies: *scream and run*  
  
Miroku: Will you bear my- hello? Ladies? Where are you going? *looks forlorn*  
  
Random man in the audience: *stands up* ASK ME, MIROKU! ASK ME!  
  
Miroku: Um......how about not.  
  
Random man: I KNEW IT! YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME, HAVEN'T YOU?!??!!  
  
Miroku: *inches away to cower behind Inu-Yasha* Not really!~  
  
LiRi: MIROKU!!  
  
Miroku: Hello, Pretty Lady!!!!!! May I be of service...*dons romantic eyes* (still behind Inu-Yasha as man tries to rush the stage)  
  
LiRi: Yes you can!! Pleeeaaaaaase~........  
  
Audience of men: GET THE ROPE OF DOOM!!!  
  
Miroku: Huh?  
  
LiRi: *whispers in his ear*  
  
Miroku: Are you sure that's a good idea?  
  
LiRi: Yes. Now go!  
  
Miroku: But I - *disappears*  
  
Kagome: AACK! Where'd he go?!?!  
  
Inu-Yasha: What'd'ya do to 'im?  
  
LiRi: Mu-ha. Haha. *clears throat* Kagome and Inu-Yoshi,  
  
Inu-Yasha: Yasha  
  
LiRi: You have been selected from the fans of your show  
  
Kagome: What show?  
  
LiRi: to appear here (or there) ooooon~  
  
Audience: THE ROPE OF DOOM!  
  
Kagome: *shudders*  
  
LiRi: to be fastened to each other for an entire week by a rope...that way, your fans hope, you will eventually grow to love each other  
  
Inu-Yasha: ROPE? WHAT ROPE! YOU CAN'T FASTEN ME TO HER FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK! SHE'LL 'SIT' ME SENSELESS!  
  
Kagome: Sit, boy  
  
.::*BAM*::.  
  
Inu-Yasha: No......Way......Am.....I.....GONNA BE STUCK TO HER FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK!  
  
Kagome: Do you really hate me so much, Inu-Yasha? *teary, bamby eyes*  
  
Inu-Yasha: Huh? *sees Kagome's tears* Uh......uh.......Don't cry.......I was only kidding, OK? I'd love to be stuck to you........Just. Don't cry. Sheesh, can't you, uh, take a joke? Ha? Haha?  
  
Audience of men and women: awwwwwwwwwwww......that's so cuuuuuuuute!!!  
  
Kagome: *smiles* Really?  
  
Inu-Yasha: *smiles* No.  
  
Kagome: SIT! SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT!  
  
Inu-Yasha: O.o  
  
Kagome: UP YOURS!  
  
LiRi: Wow......that's rather......out of character.......  
  
Kagome: *dances around stage while flicking every one off*  
  
Audience:.....creepy......  
  
Inu-Yasha: O.o  
  
Miroku: *suddenly pops back on stage*  
  
LiRi: Welcome back, Miroku!  
  
Miroku: Kagome-sama......what have they done to you? *says this while groping Lili's butt*  
  
LiRi: *kicks Miroku where the sun don't shine*  
  
Miroku: EEEEEEEE! MY MANHHOOD!! IT'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!  
  
Ladies: *come back from outside to sit in audience* YAY! Miroku: *scowls*  
  
LiRi: Any way, please give me theeeeeeeee~  
  
Audience: ROPE OF DOOM!!!  
  
Miroku: *gives her the ROPE OF DOOM, while still......uh......in pain......*  
  
LiRi: *Fastens the ROPE OF DOOM around Inu-Yasha and Kagome's waist*  
  
Kagome: *flicks her off*  
  
Inu-Yasha: O.o  
  
Suddenly, Miroku disappears, again!!!! *yawn* As he disappears, so do our heroes! So maybe he didn't disappear, we did....but that would mean that he's stuck forever in that secret underground studio.......HAHA! *cough* Anyway......Our heroes and co. are transported to a magical place called ............  
  
-----------------------------------------------+___+------------------------ -----------------------------  
  
IMPORTANT NOTICE  
  
Thank you for reading the show!! (that sounds really weird) We would now like to inform you about our special new voting opportunities open exclusively to the public. Today's vote: WHERE SHOULD THEY BE TRANSPORTED TO? Note: This place is where Inu-Yasha and Kagome will be stuck...all alone......tied together by a rope......  
  
Hehe...what COULD happen? I wonder.......  
  
REVIEW AND CAST A VOTE!!!!  
  
~Lili~ 


	2. Romantic dinner gone wrong

Hello and WELCOME, AGAIN tooooooooooooooooooo~  
  
Audience: THE ROPE OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!  
  
On our last show, two new guests were kidnapped and brought to the secret underground studio (which really isn't so secret anymore)!!! INU-YASHA AND KAGOME!!!  
  
Audience: *applauds*  
  
Lili: *walks on stage* THE VOTES ARE IN! Inu-Yoshi  
  
Inu-Yasha: Yasha  
  
LiRi: Oh, glad to see you're awake, Inu-Yoshi!  
  
Inu-Yasha: YashA!  
  
LiRi: Anywho Dandydoo, Inu-YAshA and Kagome shall be transported to...... as Cat-Demoness suggested.......*drum roll, please * A FANCY (and romantic) RESTARAUNT!!! Thank you, Cat-Demoness!!!  
  
Inu-YAshA: WHAT?! NO WAY IN HELL!!! Who is this Cat-Demoness!?!?!? I'll rip her to shreds!!! I won't go to no fancy (and romantic) restaunt!  
  
LiRi: Restaurant  
  
Inu-YAshA: Yeah, whatever!......*whispers* Kagome.......what is this 'restaurant,' anyway?  
  
Kagome: *flicks him off*  
  
Inu-YAshA: O.O ...Kago.....me?  
  
LiRi: Um...about that....Kagome, we are on 'family' t.v....think about the KIDS!!!  
  
Kagome: OH NO!!! *abruptly stops parading her middle finger to the poor world*  
  
~00~  
  
Random kid at home: HI GRANDMA!!! *rushes to hug scary-looking granny*  
  
Granny: *smile*  
  
Random kid at home: *holds up middle finger* Up yours, Grandma! Tehe!  
  
Granny: *dies of shock*  
  
Random kid at home: Grandma...? Grandma...??  
  
~00~  
  
LiRi: Riiiiiiiiight......moving on, now. Inu-Yoshi.  
  
Inu-YAshA: YASHA, B****!!!!  
  
LiRi: INU-YOSHI! WE DO NOT ACCEPT SUCH FOUL LANGUAGE ON THIS SHOW! IF YOU CONTINUE TO SPEAK SO, I WILL BE FORCED TO-  
  
Inu-Yasha: @#$% &@#*^ #$^ &@*#@ #$!! @!& !#$*!/@ $@? #$@& @#*!!!!!!!!  
  
LiRi: YOU ASKED FOR IT, BUSTER!!! OH MERRY SOAP MEEEEEEN~!  
  
Inu-YAshA: Keh?  
  
.::~*POOF*~::.  
  
Suddenly, little men in purple tights pop onto the stage with buckets of water and soap in their hands!!! What will this MEAN for our HEROES and co.!?!?!?  
  
Merry Soap Men: *start singing* We.....are.....the......merry, merry soap men, the oh so merry soapy men/ who sing and dance and prance in purple pants/ who tumble and turn and wash and burn those who speak any naughty words!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Um......That last part didn't rhyme, A** holes  
  
Merry Soap Men: HA! HA! HA! *slowly inch towards Inu-Yasha* HA! HA! HA!  
  
Inu-YAshA: S-stay back! I've got a-a s-sword!!  
  
Kagome: Oh but they're so cuuuuuuuuuute!!! Don't you dare harm them, Inu- Yasha!!  
  
Inu-YAshA: *draws sword that I cannot spell* D-DIE!  
  
Kagome: Ahem. SIT!  
  
Inu-YAshA: *slams to the ground on top of three Merry Soap Men*  
  
Kagome: *slams to the ground, pulled down by the rope* Ow......  
  
LiRi: Kagome......don't forget about theeeeeeeeeee~  
  
Audience: ROPE OF DOOOOOOOOOOM!  
  
The Merry Soap Men left: *pounce on Inu-Yasha with buckets of water and soap* We will rub and scrub and wash away the love/ that you have of swea~r wo~rds/ lub, dub, grub!!!  
  
Inu-YAshA: *screams, then gurgles as mouth is cleaned*  
  
Kagome: *standing up, somehow forgetting all about what just happened* SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT! That should hold you down for a whi- IIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLE!  
  
.::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::.  
  
.::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::. .::*BAM*::.  
  
Kagome and Inu-YAshA: @__@  
  
LiRi: Wow, you ARE stupid  
  
Kagome: Oops.......Dang......@_@  
  
Inu-YAshA: See, now you know how it feels!  
  
Kagome: Painful  
  
Inu-YAshA: Acutally, I think it tickles ^___^  
  
Kagome: *stares*  
  
Merry Soap Men: *start vigorously scrubbing at Inu-Yasha's mouth, again (when did they stop?)*  
  
Inu-YAshA: Wha-? OOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAH! AHAHAHAH! NOOOOOOOO! WOB WIB *gurgle* WOOOBOOO! *gurgle, gurgle, choke*  
  
LiRi: I feel like I was saying something......oh yeah. *puts on important voice* Kagome.  
  
Kagome: Yes?  
  
LiRi: BYE!  
  
Kagome: AAAAAAAA-  
  
.::~*POOF*~::.  
  
Inu-YAshA: I PROMISE I WILL NEVER SWEAR AGAIN!!! NO! STOP! *gurgle, gurgle*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......a.......a.......huh? Whewe wawe we? (translation: Where are we?)  
  
Kagome: It appears that we're in Fr-  
  
I can answer that!  
  
Kagome: Fine. Be that way.  
  
Inu-YAshA: *spits our soap* WHO THE F *whimpers*.......I-I mean....WHO'S THERE?  
  
It is I! The Scary Voice of Doooooooooooooooooom! MUAHAHAHAHAHA......haha......*mutters* tough crowd......  
  
Kagome & Inu-Yasha: -_-u  
  
*nervous cough* Um......You are in France. At the bottom of the Eiffel Tower......at a fancy restaurant *snaps fingers* as of now.  
  
*A giant fancy (and romantic) restaurant zooms into focus around them*  
  
Kagome: EEK!  
  
Inu-YAshA: *draws sword that I cannot spell* Stand back, Kagome!!!  
  
Kagome: meep  
  
Inu-YAshA: *whirls around randomly at the tables, slashing vases and musicians, alike......O.o*  
  
Random people at the fancy (and romantic) restaurant: Shit saint!!!! Il nous tuera tout!! (((He will kill us all)))  
  
Kagome: SI- erm....... INU-YASHA! STOP!  
  
Inu-YAshA *stops*  
  
Kagome: What are you DOING? You are wrecking this beautiful place!  
  
Inu-YAshA: But......it......it magically appeared out of no where!  
  
Kagome: So? I did, too, after coming out of the well into the feudal era!  
  
~Evil flashback~  
  
*Kagome gets out of the well and sits on the......rim...... for an eternity*  
  
~End of evil flashback~  
  
Inu-YAshA: And I tried to kill you the second I could.  
  
~Evil flashback~  
  
Inu-YAshA: *thinking* After this girl shoots down the bird, I'll have no use of her.......I'll have to kill her*  
  
~End evil flahsback~  
  
Kagome:......Good point.......I guess you may continue reeking havoc upon this fancy (and romantic) restaurant  
  
Inu-YAshA: keh. Glad you see MY point of view.  
  
Random French Man: NO!!!! STOP!!!! DON'T KILL ME!!!! I mean...... Non, l'arrêt!!!! Ne pas me tuer!!!!  
  
Kagome: That first part didn't sound very French.......  
  
Random 'French' person at restaurant: TOO BAD, SUCKER!!!  
  
Inu-YAshA: That's MY line! *randomly swings sword, cutting a wedding cake.......what a coincidence*  
  
Random 'French' person: What? Really? That makes no sense!  
  
Inu-YAshA: You put the MORON in oxymoron!  
  
Same Random 'French' person: Um......you're confusing me  
  
Inu-YAshA: Huh?  
  
Same Random 'French' person: What?  
  
Kagome: -__-u Inu-Yasha.......sit.  
  
.::*BAM*::.  
  
.::*BAM*::.  
  
Oh no, things don't seem to be going well for our heroes and co!!! Will Inu-Yasha and Kagome ever kiss?!?!?! *cough*yes*cough* Will Kagome stop saying 'SIT'?!?!?!  
  
.::*BAM*::.  
  
.::*BAM*::.  
  
Oops.......ehe.......And will they actually be able to EAT at this fancy (and romantic) restaurant? .......And what happens when one of them needs to go to the bathroom?  
  
.............Frankly, I don't want to know.  
  
Anywhoo, join us next time ooooooooooooonnnnnnnnn~  
  
Audience: THE ROPE OF DOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!  
  
-----------------------------------------------+___+------------------------ -----------------------------  
  
UNIMPORTANT NOTICE  
  
This show was aired late at night! So be wary of stupid mistakes and dumb jokes!! If it is too bad, please alert the script writer and she will repost it!!! Thank you for reading the show (that STILL sounds funny), and we hope that you will tune in next time!  
  
Ja ne, peeps! 


	3. Kiss

HELLO! And welcome toooooooooo~  
  
Audience: ......  
  
Toooooooooooooooooo~  
  
Audience: We're tired of being oppressed! Stop the hatred! Make LOVE not WAR!  
  
Um. Right. Never mind, then, I guess.......  
  
Audience: *starts chanting* MAKE LOVE! NOT WAR! MAKE LOVE! NOT WAR!  
  
Ooooooooooh shit.  
  
Audience: *starts lovin'*  
  
Cameras: *suddenly stop recording*  
  
~00~  
  
Random kid at home: Mommy......let's make love.  
  
Mommy: *faints*  
  
Random kid at home: What? Mommy? Mommy?? *shrugs* oh well *goes back to watching T.V*  
  
~00~  
  
AND NOW, back at the restaurant, which we are secretly recording through the lobster tank, let's watch and see what Inu-Yasha and Kagome will do about theeeeeeeeeeee~  
  
Audience in background: MAKE LOVE! NOT WAR!  
  
*cough, cough* ROPE OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!  
  
*Inu-Yasha and Kagome are sitting at a fancy table, frustrated looks on their faces*  
  
Kagome: I have to go to the bathroom  
  
Inu-Yasha: Too bad for you, 'cause I am NOT going to accompany you.  
  
Kagome: *annoyed* I'll say the 'S' word, I swear, if you don't get off your lazy *beep* and let me GO.  
  
Inu-Yasha: Hey, it affects you, too, so go ahead and try. *sticks out toungue*  
  
Kagome: Fine. *stand up, screaming* THEN I'll JUST PEE ON YOU!!!  
  
Random French Lady: *gasps and stares, dropping her spoon*  
  
Random lobster: OH MA BONTE! (((OH MY GOODNESS))) *faints*  
  
Annoying band playing at restaurant: *stops playing and stares at Inu- Yasha and Kagome, aghast*  
  
Crickets: *chirp, chirp, SQUASH*  
  
Kagome: *flushes deep red*  
  
Inu-Yasha: *head turns into a giant beet* Fine. Where's the door?  
  
Kagome: Um, Inu-Yasha *starts walking down hall,* it's kind of different, here......in these times.  
  
Inu-Yasha: feh. Just do your business and be done *waits outside by the door*  
  
Kagome: Ok, just don't come in *closes door* If you do, I'll have to 'S' you!  
  
Inu-Yasha: feh (thinking) 'dumb wench......'*looks at rope* 'hehehehehe...... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!*  
  
Kagome: *in the stall, answering nature's call...ooooooh, that rhymed!!* la- de-da, la-a-a-a-a-a, de-da, de-do, de-di, de-OOMPH! OOOOOOOW!!! *gets slammed into stall door* YOU IDIOT! **slam** *pulls up pants* HOW DARE YOU **slam** *flushes* THAT'S IT!!! **slam** SIT!!!!!!!!  
  
.::~*BAM*~::.  
  
.::~*BAM*~::.  
  
Kagome and Inu-Yasha: O.o  
  
Random lady in the next stall's POV:  
  
I was sitting on the toilet when all of a sudden the girl next to me started slamming into her stall door, as if she was having troubles getting her poo out. I wanted to help her, but then she started screaming! I became VERY afraid, for she began calling her poo names, such as 'idiot' in Japanese, which I've been studying for five years now. I guess that helped to make the experience all the worse, for I could understand her insane words. She started talking to the poo as if it were a dog, telling it to sit, and then, it did, with a huge BAM on the floor. It was so scary, I just ran out of the bathroom without a moment's hesitancy, only to find a Peeping Tom, sprawled out on the floor as if to look through the door crack. Well, I certainly gave HIM a piece of my mind.  
  
Inu-Yasha: *rubbing insanely large lumps on his head* ow......  
  
Suddenly, the rope tugs him straight into the door!  
  
Inu-Yasha: O.o OW! YOU BI- *remembers Merry Soap Men* -BIG BUTT HEAD!!!  
  
Kagome: *comes out* Well. Serves you right.  
  
Inu-Yasha: grrrr......  
  
Kagome: *moves to stand over Inu-Yasha, who's still on his back* Sit.  
  
.::~*BAM*~::.  
  
.::~*BAM*~::.  
  
Kagome: *lands on top of Inu-Yasha, as planned*  
  
Inu-Yasha: *stares, wide-eyed*  
  
Kagome: BODY SLAM! WHOOP!!  
  
Inu-Yasha: *stare moves down to Kagome's lips, which are just inches above his* um......right......  
  
Kagome: *now SHE stares, wide-eyed* (thinking) 'oh, shit' Inu......Yasha?  
  
Inu-Yasha: A moment...... *kisses Kagome*  
  
Kagome: *kisses Inu-Yasha, back* (thinking) 'whoa......he's a good kisser'  
  
Random Lady from the Stall: *comes back with the police* And here is the Peeping Tom I found, right - OH MA BONTE! (((OH MY GOODNESS)))  
  
Police: VIOL! L'OBTENIR! (((RAPE! GET HIM!))) *spring on Inu-Yasha*  
  
Police Woman One: (thinking) 'He's even got her tied up! HOW SICK!'  
  
Inu-Yasha: *flicks off police absentmindedly, continuing to kiss Kagome*  
  
Police Man One: *gets out gun* OBTENIR DE OU je TIRERAI! (((GET OFF OR I'LL SHOOT)))  
  
Kagome: *doesn't see gun, eyes are closed.......ooooooooh*  
  
Inu-Yasha: *breaks kiss* That was......  
  
Kagome: *smiles* Very nice......  
  
Inu-Yasha: I'd like to.......  
  
Kagome: Do it again sometime?  
  
Inu-Yasha: Yeah......me, too......*smiles*  
  
Police Man One: CELA L'EST! (((THAT'S IT!))) *shoots*  
  
Kagome: OH MY GOSH!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha: WHAT THE F- *abruptly stops, gasping*  
  
Kagome: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! INU-YAAAASHAAAA!!!  
  
OH NO! What will happen to Inu-Yasha!?!?! Will the Random Lady from the Stall get therapy? Will Kagome ever stop saying sit? WILL INU-YASHA LIVE?!?!?!?! Find out later ooooooooooooon~  
  
Audience: MAKE LOVE! NOT WAR!  
  
THE ROPE OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!  
  
-----------------------------------------------+___+------------------------ -----------------------------  
  
UNIMPORTANT NOTICE  
  
The votes must be cast as to what the commercials should be! The show needs more funding, so we would like ideas, ASAP! The three winners will be picked according to the main script writer, so enter and cast a vote! Thank's for reading the show!  
  
~LIRI~ 


	4. PetCo Hallucinations

Commercial Number One:  
  
Kaede (sp?): ::standing in front of her hut:: Oh, hello, I didn't see you there!  
  
Random passerby: ::sweat drop:: How lame......  
  
Kaede (sp?): If I had known I'd be on film, I would've pasted on my handy- dandy SkinStretcher! In fact, I believe I shall! ::hurries back into hut::  
  
Passerby: ::face fault::  
  
Three extremely boring minutes later......  
  
Random boy: ::moons camera::  
  
Camera man number one: ::throws stick::  
  
Random boy: -- Just wanted a little publicity...... ::runs off sobbing cornily::  
  
Three more extremely boring minutes later:  
  
Sango: ::struts out of hut:: There, now that I have applied some of my beautiful SkinStretcher in 25 quick n' easy steps, I look like a completely different person!  
  
Passerby: ::drown in sweat drops::  
  
Footnotes as Sango starts flirting with a random man: Don't apply too much or the face will actually stretch. ::breath:: If this happens, contact 1- 800-FAKEMIKOS immediately to waste some more of your money. ::breath:: Side effects are too gory to include on this G-rated commercial.  
  
Sango: So buy SkinStretcher and look 200 years younger!  
  
Kaede: ::from inside the hut:: Hey! I'm not THAT old!  
  
End Commercial Number One.  
  
Commercial Number Two:  
  
Miroku in sexy tux: ::perched on the edge of his professional-looking, cardboard desk:: Hello ladies.  
  
This commercial is for those among you beautiful creatures who are barren and wish to have a child.  
  
I have taken ::mumble:: years of practice at the ::mumble:: university, working under the highly esteemed Doctor ::mumble,:: who's number (for incase you wish to have some sort of verification of my professionalism u), is ::mumble, mumble, mumble::  
  
If you are in need of a child, please, take the easy and pleasurable path to pregnancy, and call me, Miroku, at 1-800-MIROKUIS-SOSEXY. Once again, 1- 800-MIROKUIS-SOSEXY.  
  
You can also call me if your husband is fat or something .  
  
End Commercial Number Two  
  
Commercial Number Three (Last Commercial, Yay)  
  
Cat-Demoness: ::standing in front of PetCo:: Hello, again. I'm sure you all remember me from The Rope of Doom, episode two, Romantic Dinner Gone Wrong, and if you don't, shame on you! I'm here before you, or actually, technically, before the camera, to advertise an amazing company called PetCo by showing you how much my little doggy friend Inu-Yasha loves PetCo's Comfortable Collars.  
  
Inu-Yasha and Kagome: ::suddenly pop up out of no where beside Cat- Demoness::  
  
Inu-Yasha: -UCK!? ::looks around:: ......Ok, now where am I?  
  
Kagome: Did I just hear a gunshot? Wasn't I just in a fancy (and romantic) restaurant in France? Why am I at PetCo? ::pointing at Cat-Demoness:: Who are you?  
  
Cat-Demoness: ::pushes Kagome out of picture:: Erm......ignore her, she's crazy.  
  
Kagome: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!?!?!?!?! ::gets tackled by Random Camera Woman Number One::  
  
Random Camera Woman Number One: ::hisses:: Shut up, we're broadcasting live to over one million people!  
  
Kagome: ::turns really, REALLY pale:: W-we are? Can they see me? OH GOSH, CAN ARE ONE MILLION PEOPLE WATCHING ME AS I SPEAK!?!?!?!! ::starts to hyperventilate::  
  
Random Camera Woman Number One: Uh......::pulls Kagome a foot or so backwards::Calm down. They can't see you.......::mumbles:: anymore........  
  
Kagome: Good......::faints::  
  
Inu-Yasha: ::standing at edge of camera frame, tugging on rope:: Grrrrrrr......what do you want with us?  
  
Cat-Demoness: ::suddenly throws a collar around Inu-Yasha:: Now tell us, Inu-Yasha, and answer me truthfully, is this collar comfortable?  
  
Inu-Yasha: Um, N-  
  
Cat-Demoness: ::stomps on Inu-Yasha's foot::  
  
Inu-Yasha: OW! YES!  
  
Cat-Demoness: GOOD! This is one of PetCo's Comfortable Collars! Now try on this one...... ::takes off PetCo's Comfortable Collar and throws on a cruel looking one, inseams lined with tiny invisible spikes:: Is THIS one comfortable? ::cackle::  
  
Inu-Yasha: ::gasps in agony:: NO! GET IT OFF ME, YOU FREAK! GET IT OFF! ::writhes in pain on pavement, clawing at the collar::  
  
Cat-Demoness: Well, there you have it, PetCo's products RULE! Buy from PetCo! WHOOT!  
  
Inu-Yasha: OWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOW!  
  
Kagome: XoX  
  
.......  
  
Random Camera Man: Hey, Sweetums, how do I turn this off?  
  
Cat-Demoness: --u Father! You're embarrassing me in front of everyone! It's the little red button! Geez, fogies, these days.......tut, tut.  
  
::Insert fifteen seconds of fidgeting with the camera before screen finally goes blank::  
  
End Commercial Three (Last Commercial, Yay)  
  
LiRi: WELCOME BACK TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
New Audience: THE ROPE OF DOMMMMMMMMMM!  
  
LiRi: -- The Rope of Doom.  
  
New Audience: THE ROPE OF DOMMMMMMMMMMMM!  
  
LiRi: --u Ok, then.......  
  
In the last episode, Inu-Yasha and Kagome actually kissed ::gasp::!  
  
We would have ended the show right then, (when?), then, and there, (where?), there ::cough:: I've got issues ::cough:: but unfortunately for us, certain circumstances have occurred and we are being FORCED to stick with this poor couple until the end of their little escapade or we'll all get sued. --u  
  
We are going to replay the last five minutes of the show so that you may see what happened before, during, and after the gunshot in agonizingly slow motion.  
  
SLOW MOTION STARTS  
  
Inu-Yasha and Kagome: ::kissing::  
  
Random Lady from the Stall: ::running towards them::  
  
Police People: ::shouting::  
  
Random Lady from the Stall: ::fainting::  
  
Inu-Yasha and Kagome: ::kissing::  
  
Police People: ::aiming guns and firing at Inu-Yasha::  
  
Inu-Yasha and Kagome: ::screaming and then suddenly disappearing::  
  
Restaurant Manager: ::sobbing over the bullet hole in the wall::  
  
Police People: ::screaming and running for their lives because of Inu-Yasha and Kagome's sudden disappearance::  
  
END SLOW MOTION  
  
Rather pathetic, isn't it? Now we are all being sued by the restaurant manager......who won't live to see the next sunset ::cough, cough, cackle, cackle:: So the show goes on!!  
  
Janitor: ::runs on stage with a bucket on his head:: GOOD NEWS!!! We have just located Inu-Yasha and Kagome in America, and are sending over some spies – I mean camera people – to spy on them – I mean watch them – I mean......-- never mind......::walks off stage sadly, bucket still on his head::  
  
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight....... Well, then, let's just watch and see what happens! And, by the way......that janitor's crazy. There's no spies, hehe......this show is perfectly legal ::shifty eyes: ......yeah, legal, that's right. Ehehehehe......legal.......ehehehehe  
  
Audience: O.o  
  
.........  
  
Parking Lot of PetCo:  
  
Inu-Yasha: ::still writhing in pain:: GET IT OFF ME!!!!!!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!!!!!! THE PAIN!!!!!!!! OH, THE HORRIBLE PAIN!!!!!!!! OOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! KAAAGOOOOOOOOOOOMMMEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OWOWOWOWOW!  
  
Kagome: XoX  
  
Cat-Demoness and Entourage: Sorry, Inu.....Thanks for the ...... interview ::disappear::  
  
Inu-Yasha: AAAAAH! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!!!! TAKE IT OFF, YOU BUTT HEADS! OOOOOOF!! ::light bulb suddenly appears over his head:: CLAWS OF BLOOD!!!!!!!!!! ::tears off collar:: MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ::eats collar in victory:: ......::realizes what he's just done:: ::spits out collar:: EWWWWWWW!  
  
Light Bulb: ......-- You're a freak. ::falls off Inu's head and shatters::  
  
Inu-Yasha: O.o  
  
Kagome: XoX  
  
Inu-Yasha: Ok, Kag. Let's go.  
  
Kagome: XoX  
  
Inu-Yasha: I don't know where. Somewhere. Anywhere but here! ::glares at Kagome's passed out form:: Stop asking stupid questions, baka.  
  
Kagome: XoX  
  
Inu-Yasha: I'm not crazy! I'm just a little bit insane.......What was IN that collar, anyway?  
  
Kagome:XoX  
  
Inu-Yasha: No wonder.......::starts dragging Kagome by The Rope of Doom:: I better go to a hospital or something.......Oh, what's that building over there? School. Hmmmmmm. Lets go to School, Kagome, maybe they'll have some arsenic-healers over there!  
  
Kagome: XoX  
  
Inu-Yasha: --u Don't give me that look...... ::drags Kagome through the doors::  
  
Kagome: ::wakes up:: U-Uhn? Wh-where are we? ::groan::  
  
Inu-Yasha: School, duh! I just said that! Weren't you paying attention?  
  
Kagome: Um......no....... ::stands up:: WHOA! ::falls back down:: Head rush!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Baka. ::begins walking up steps::  
  
Kagome: ::gasp:: Inu-YaaAAAaaaSSSsssHHAaaaAAA! SssTTToooOOOpppPPP! OW! ::thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump::  
  
Inu-Yasha: What? Why?  
  
Kagome: YYY::thump::ooo::thump::UUU'rrr::thump::EEE::thump:: ddd::thump::RRR::thump::aaa::thump::GGG::thump::iii::thump::NNN::thump::ggg ::thump:: MMM::thump::eee::thump::UUU::thump::ppp::thump:: TTT::thump::hhh::thump::EEE::thump:: sss::thump::TTT::thump::aaa::thump::III::thump::rrr::thump::SSS::thump......!  
  
Inu-Yasha: ::stops:: What?  
  
Kagome: ::stands up shakily, rubbing head:: OW! YOU WERE DRAGGING ME UP THE STAIRS, BAKA!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Oh, hehe, oops.  
  
Kagome: grrrrrrrrrr.......  
  
Inu-Yasha: Hey, Kagome, is poison bad for you?  
  
Kagome: Uh, (thinking) 'and Inu-Yasha finally wins the prize for Stupidest Question of the Day' Yes, Inu-Yasha, it is.  
  
Inu-Yasha: Oh......::looks sad:: How bad?  
  
Kagome: It can kill you, depending......Inu-Yasha, are you all right?  
  
Inu-Yasha: Give me a dog bone and I will be.  
  
Kagome: Wha-?  
  
Inu-Yasha: Give me a dog bone, wench, or I'll have to kill you.  
  
.::Back at Secret Studio::.  
  
LiRi: ::talking in walkie-talkie:: CODE GREEN! I REPEAT! CODE YELLOW – I MEAN GREEN!  
  
NO! NOT CODE YELLOW! IT WAS A SLIP OF THE TONGUE! CODE GREEN!!!!!  
  
NO! NOOO, YOU IDIOT, CODE GREEN! MURDER THREAT!!! NOT – NO – IT WAS A SLIP OF THE TONGUE! JUST GET THE SQUAD DOWN THERE!  
  
CODE GREEN, YOU IDIOT, GREEEEEEEEN! NO! NOT YELLOW! NO - hello? Hello? Oh shit.  
  
Audience: ::looks confused::  
  
LiRi: Rest assured, people, he will NOT kill her. ::mumbles:: and the Dog Squad is NOT on it's way to restrain Inu-Yasha. Oh daisy, I've just messed things up big time.  
  
.::Back with Inu-Yasha and Kagome::.  
  
Kagome: A dog bone? Why do you want a DOG BONE?!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Will you take me outside? I have to go pee-pee.  
  
Kagome: O.o What's going on, here?  
  
Cat-Demoness: ::suddenly appears by Kagome:: HEY, KAGOME! He ate The Evil Collar of Doom, a rip-off show of The Rope of Doom that doesn't really exist.  
  
Kagome: -- Right.......  
  
Cat-Demoness: It has, erm, had, a random product in it that causes weirdness in the consumer.  
  
Inu-Yasha: Idiot. I spat it out.  
  
Cat-Demoness: But what did it taste like?  
  
Inu-Yasha: ::mutters:: ......Poison......  
  
Cat-Demoness: Really? I always thought it would taste like chicken. No matter, though. You tasted it and you won't recover until 2:00 am on Saturday morning, which is tomorrow. Kagome? Take care of him and don't let him near any roofs or high places.......  
  
Kagome: ::gulp::  
  
Inu-Yasha: ::breaks out in song:: I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY!  
  
Kagome: O.o Darn.  
  
Cat-Demoness: And for this advice I require ::sticks little finger in mouth:: ONE BILLION DOLLARS!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, I'm evil, baby, dig it.  
  
Kagome: O.O  
  
Inu-Yasha: Ok, now I REALLY have to go pee-pee!!   
  
.::Back at the Not-So-Secret-Underground-Studio::.  
  
LiRi: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?! THE DOG SQUAD IS GOING TO ARRIVE THERE AT ANY MOMENT! I'LL BE SUED FOR SURE! ::screams, runs around in circles like a headless chicken......AKA like Shippo:: AAAAAAH! DIE! I'M GOING TO DIIIIEEE! AND THIS WAS A REALLY LAME EPISODE!  
  
New Audience: DOMMMMMMMMMMM!  
  
LiRi: No, that's not your cue!  
  
New Audience: DOMMMMMMMMMMM!  
  
LiRi: u Fine! Humiliate yourselves on national television! See if I care! ::still panting like a crazed woman::  
  
New Audience: DOMMMMMMMMMMM!  
  
LiRi: --u All right, I care. ::dons creepy Sesshomaru voice:: You're all fired.  
  
New Audience: O.o  
  
LiRi: THAT'S RIGHT! GO AWAY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO BODY LOVES YOU!  
  
New Audience: cries  
  
Wasn't that a little harsh?  
  
LiRi: NO! NOW GO!  
  
What did I do?  
  
LiRi: NOT YOU! THE NEW AUDIENCE!  
  
Oh, OK, good.  
  
New Audience: FINE! ::shuffle sadly out of not-so-secret underground studio::  
  
LiRi: ::rubs temples:: I'm going to my trailer......::stalks off::  
  
You don't have a-  
  
LiRi: ::glare::  
  
Erm, right. Well thanks for reading the show! I'm sorry, folks, that not much happened on this episode, even though it's all Inu-Yasha and Kagome's faults!  
  
Inu-Yasha and Kagome: --  
  
Please tune in oooooooooooooooon ::crickets chirp:: THE ROPE OF DOOM the next time we update! Will Inu-Yasha jump off a roof? Will Kagome survive Inu-Yasha's hallucinations and weirdness? Will the Dog Squad think Inu- Yasha's a stray? Will CHEESE take over the WORLD?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Find out next time on The Rope of Doom!  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
UNIMPORTANT NOTICE  
  
Thank you for all the reviews! Sorry we haven't updated sooner, but we got a wee bit stressed out from school and such! Hope that you enjoyed this episode of The Rope of Doom! And just to assure y'all, a new and BETTER audience will finally be picked!  
  
Ja ne!  
  
LiRi 


End file.
